When I first became pregnant with Island Girl, I was immediately quite positive she would be a girl. I never could refer to her as anything other than "she." Of course, given the odds, I was also somewhat certain that I would be corrected at the ultrasound, and be told that she was a boy. Obviously, my motherly intuition was correct, and we were told that she was, indeed, a girl.
With finding out that she was a girl came a moment over dinner when Island Dad went as completely white as he can, and said "Ughhhh....she's going to DATE some day!" Of course, he remembered what it was like to be a teenage BOY [insert knowing look here].
Her birth and now developing personality have brought out a fairly different set of worries in me. While Island Dad remembers what teenage boys are like, I, unfortunately, remember what teenage GIRLS are like. I have, in my head, a list of things I want for her when she hits that age. It looks something like this:
- To be as free from "drama" as possible.
- To have good, close friends, who are supportive, not back-stabbing (note that I was fortunate enough to have such friends!)
- To understand that not only is it acceptable, but it is BETTER to be a "smart" girl.
- To understand that it is completely unacceptable to dumb yourself down. For anyone.
- To learn to balance a social life and also academic life.
- To know that even when it doesn't seem so, Island Dad and I want what is best for her, and we support her.
Of course, I want things like this for Island Boy, as well (particularly those last two). But it seems to me that many of these things are very specific to adolescent girls. What bothers me is that I honestly don't think I have the slightest idea of how to help her attain these goals.
Yes, I realize that her teenage years are far in the future, but I'm sure that 13 will be here before I'm ready (and the teenage attitude may show up even earlier than that). I'm also sure that teaching her these things has to start before she hits that point.