Yesterday after his theoretical nap time, I went in to see Island Boy's room destroyed, yet again. I asked him to pick up the clothes he had strewn about the room, and he obliged. Sort of. He picked up the first two or three items and put them in the dirty laundry pile. Then, he grabbed the rest of the clothes and, as I was standing right there, tried to shove them under his bed. I thought to myself, "Huh....I guess you really are my kid!" And then I made him pick them up and put them where they really belonged.
As Island Boy's personality is starting to show through more, I am starting to see more and more of myself in him (beyond just his desire to skip over cleaning tasks and simply "hide" things out of sight). I was horribly shy as a child (ok, I still am pretty painfully shy, I just hide it somewhat slightly better now). I also have always struggled with self-confidence issues. Not self-worth, mind you (not usually), but more doubting my own ability to do things. Though I still struggle with it, that one has improved somewhat as I've grown and matured. I mostly feel it come back up when it gets paired with the shyness. It's really, really not fun, and sure not something I had ever hoped one of my children would get.
Don't get me wrong, you can find plenty of Island Dad in him, as well. But I worry about Island Boy having to go through feeling the same things I felt as a kid. I want better for him (not that my own parents didn't do a fantastic job, because they did. I would be a hundred times worse off now if it hadn't been for them).
As Island Boy is now two-and-a-half, I am looking into pre-school for him for next year.
As I understand it, the age of three, when I started pre-school, is not necessarily the norm. But I really truly feel he would benefit from an extra year of learning to interact with other kids his age, and especially in a group setting. And the confidence in his abilities (we're starting to hear a lot of "No, I can't" from him lately, which also worries me).
My problem is in trying to actually find a place to send him. I have a very easy time identifying things that I don't want (far down Island, glorified daycare). I also have an ok idea of what I do want, although verbalizing it is a bit harder. But, I'm not sure that I can find exactly what I want on the Island. After asking other parents, I had heard a great recommendation for a Montessori school.....which turned out to be completely full, with no waiting list. I at least feel confident in this being a sign that that was not the right program for him. I just wish I knew how to tell which place *would* be.
So, now I'm back to the drawing board, feeling totally overwhelmed by the decision, but knowing that I need to do something, because my action will affect my child directly.
Best Stuffing Ever
4 years ago