Not What I Imagined, Part 1

I did not grow up in a military family. I did not grow up anywhere near a military installation, and so military culture was (and often still is, though less and less) very foreign to me.

I grew up in a family where the mommy and daddy both went to work every day. Because my parents were both teachers (now both retired), education was always top priority for my brother and I, and it was never questioned that we'd go to college. It was also almost never questioned that I, too, would be a mom who worked outside the home. And there certainly is nothing wrong with that. I hope to one day be back in the work force in some capacity.

Island Dad and I met the summer immediately after we had graduated college and right before we both went off to our respective graduate schools. He was not yet active duty at the time, but I believe the possibility of his joining the military came up even in our very first conversation. Now, given that we met at a summer camp and I was pretty sure it was just going to be a six-to-nine week "summer fling," I thought to myself "Cool, but not for me." Oh, how very very naive of me!

As it turns out, the fates had something different in mind for my life than what I'd always imagined. I mean, I was going to GRAD SCHOOL. I was on my way to save the world as a Social Worker (again, naive)!

By the end of my intended six weeks at camp that summer, I couldn't leave Island Dad so easily. So I stayed on for the remaining three week session of camp. Turns out, we couldn't give each other up at all. So we did a long distance relationship.

About six weeks into our first semesters, he came to Ohio to visit me. About five weeks later, just before Thanksgiving, I went to DC to visit him. Over Christmas break, we each met the other's family. The topic of "the future" had never come up with regards to our relationship until this point. One night, after Island Dad had made an off-hand comment about not letting the grass grow under his feet, I had had enough. I NEEDED to know where it was going, because I very much wanted to get married and have kids, but if he wasn't looking for the same thing, I was not about to waste my time (much as I did NOT want to end it with him!) So I asked him point blank. Given that we've been happily married for five years and now have two kids, you can pretty much guess that we did not break up as a result of his not seeing a future for us, lol.

What a Week!

Aside from the week surrounding Island Boy's birth, this has, hands down, been the craziest week of my life as a Military Wife.

Island Nanny was here for two weeks, and left early early early (as in, before the sun was up, which is very early here) on Thursday morning. Six hours later, I was taking Island Boy to "Tumbling for Tots" on base, and I called Island Dad to see if he wanted to meet up for lunch, which we usually do. 

Instead of our normal, brief, "Hey, you want to meet for lunch in an hour or so? Yes? Ok! See you then!" I was greeted with, "Hey! I assume you want to meet for lunch, and that's fine. But [insert daunting 'dun dun dun' music here], I wanted to run something by you [further daunting music here]. There was a last-minute opening for the up-coming session of Squadron Officer's School (SOS, henceforth), and they're offering it to me. 

"Major-in-our-office (the deputy in the office, name withheld for privacy) said I needed to run it by my 'Commander-in-Chief-at-Home,' first. I'd have to leave the day after tomorrow. Big downside is that you won't be able to make the trip you've been getting excited about [leaving out detailed information here, as well, for privacy]. I feel awful about that part." (Backstory: I was beyond excited, yes, but Island Dad was the one who initially had encouraged me to go.)

Now, SOS is a big honor to get to do in-residence, and something that would definitely enhance Island Dad's career. And it's five weeks long. We knew he would have to go at one point or another, and had actually been thinking he was going to be gone over Thanksgiving for the course. And I really, REALLY wanted to go on that trip.

So, I tried my hardest to hold it together as we walked from the parking lot into the gym where Tumbling for Tots is held. I am not ashamed to admit that I did have myself a little pity party for the first little bit of time there, until I realized that I didn't know any of the other moms, and I probably wasn't making a great impression. After all, who wants to be the loser sitting in the corner and crying? Not me!! 

Basically, I knew what my answer had to be. A) It was better that he go now than potentially be gone at Thanksgiving, or, worse (as he pointed out later), gone for five weeks to SOS next spring, and then have to turn right around and do pre-deployment training for a month, followed immediately by a six-month deployment. That would be a total of eight to nine months gone, in the end. Not good. 

B) My wanting to go on the trip was purely selfish. Yes, maybe my getting a break from the Island Kids would have done us all some good, but ultimately, I was the one who would benefit the most, and I was really the only one who would have been greatly affected by my going on the trip. Island Dad going to SOS, however, affects his career, and therefore it automatically affects ALL of us. Him, the kids, myself, all of us. On a lot of levels. And, yes, it really is still quite strange to me that such an outside force can have such an effect on our entire family. I'm not always sure how I feel about this.

So we embarked on the most insane 36 hours I've seen in awhile! He worked all day and night (because he had to make phone calls to the East Coast, which meant 2 AM for us), and I did what I could to mentally prep myself for what was coming.

The Island Kids have taken fairly well to the change, all things considered. Island Boy has been maybe a bit more rambunctious lately, though that probably is due in part to being cooped up because of contractors replacing floor tiles yesterday, and then rain today. Island Girl did not want to sleep yesterday, but again, mostly because of the contractors banging and chipping tiles. On the whole, I am, at this point, fairly certain that we can all make it through this and my sanity will be intact. And, I think, so will the house! Still, it's a little weird to be the only adult on the [familial] Island right now.